When I decide whether or not to proceed with something, anything really, I always try to weigh the pros and cons. More importantly, I start assessing what I would gain and/or lose from it. In turn, I begin this mental tug o' war that leads me to a conclusion. With thousands of these going on a day, I'm left exhausted and wounded.
This leads to my question (I purposely rephrased, "this got me to thinking..." so I would not sound like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Fuck you, I've watched the show,) when you have nothing to gain and nothing to lose, do you go on?
I am the old, dusty toy that was the best thing that had ever happened to you at one time. I sit at a special spot on an even more special shelf, and represent the person you were at a distinct point of time. But when you look at me now, the feeling that you get is a simplistic wave of nostalgia-- a dangerously idealistic impression of me. At best, I can only take solace in the fabricated notion that I still symbolize something significant, and the old pedestal that I am placed upon is in fact, special. The person who you are is no longer the person who I thought I could love, and I am merely an old photograph. I am the jacket that hangs in your closet only because of the memories. I matched with every single outfit that you wore in middle school, and kept you warm when nothing else could. The color has not faded although time has left wear and tear, and I'm rougher around the edges. You know exactly what to expect when you put me on even though I fit a little bit too snug and don't quite match with anything you own anymore. I am a reminder of maturation and things that you'd rather leave behind.
After the rainstorm has passed, the noble steed of the prince has failed him, and he kneels in defeat, unable to go on. Fairy tales can only last for so long.
When it rains, it pours.
