As with every other concept of measurement, it's less concrete than I am comfortable with. Are our leaps and bounds measured by inches or are they judged by things that we've left behind? Or maybe it's by the amount of time that has passed. I guess it depends: am I trying to see whether I can finally chalk up the old wall in my garage adding an inch to my height (being 5'11" is a burden to the obsessive compulsive soul) or is this another assessment of self-development or rather the lack thereof. Is there really a unit that measures progress if not regression, a way to calculate change using a standard equation: After minus Before over Before (By the way, I had to Google that as I have in the past ten years of my life. How's that for a college degree?)
I guess we live in an age where money can buy anything, even to close voids of any kind. And I guess it's too bad that it's not something that I have a ton of. It's cold where I want to go. There's so much character I don't have enough to offer just yet. I know I don't belong because I have to find my own way there first.
There are so many similarities between who I am now and who I was two, three, five years ago. My writing provides irrefutable evidence. The frightening thing is that all the emotions are the same. The night sweats never left. Here lies the same sadness with just a little splash of incoherence masked by achievements. I may know a few words with more letters included in their spelling, but I haven't learned the definitions yet. Have you ever heard a word and it just took your breath away? I mean literally feel the knuckles of its syllables jut against your stomach so hard that you have to regain your footing. Because you know: you just felt perfection. You also know that the feeling of perfection doesn't come around easy and can't be savoured-- no matter how hard you try.
When you feel anything right at all that, you don't want to let it go. I guess you shouldn't let it go. Regardless of the tangible distance, there are some things that can't be measured.
