My Direction

Conversation these days can be narrowed down to the following categories: relationships, unfinished to-dos, and the future. The last one on that short list seems to dominate. In fact, I'm a member of the guilty party who uses this topic as my go-to. You know... the one that you always have in your back pocket whenever a conversation runs dry. I guess it's normal considering the place in time. But I think it's really that there are so many ways you can spin it. The feelings towards it-- the general uneasiness with a new beginning or excitement of change. The logistics and plans whether short or long term. The future... it's all we can change and only thing we can look forward to.

I guess there's some merit when people say that I'm lucky because I have an idea of what I want to do. But realistically, I don't think luck had much to do with it. I knew my strengths and weaknesses. Although this never did give me an edge over other candidates per say, at least this hyper self-awareness that keeps me up at night created a sense of direction. I've always known that I want to work with people in a creative environment. I'm not particularly artistic, but I get along with those types of people and have a strong ability to empathize. The path in marketing and advertising path then showed itself. And through some poking around (ex. apparel and entertainment industries taught me some great lessons) I realized that an advertising agency may a good fit-- and I went for it. Is it the ideal job? I don't know. But at least I know I wouldn't suck at it and along the same lines, I won't hate my life.

I will be working in Los Angeles next year.

It's a bittersweet next step, but at the end the logical one.

I'm not much of a wanderer. If anything, wandering without, sometimes even with direction causes me great anxiety. I'd call rather myself a nomad-- a person who can't stay at one place for an extended period of time, but decisively travels from one home to another. As I mention all the time (honestly, I'm such a repetitive prick it's not even funny. I'm the most unoriginal person I know) this has left me with a very disillusioned idea of home because really, it's anywhere... but nowhere at the same time. If I don't have plans, at least I know where I might want to go. This is so very exhausting and I can barely keep up with my own footsteps, but the clock only ticks one direction.

I've decided the next part of my adventure. You might not know where you're going or where you want to be quite yet. But who knows-- maybe you're heading the same direction.

...So won't you come with for the time being?